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Whew, crisis averted!
Aug. 29th, 2024 03:45 amNevermind all my concerns about AI; apparently the problem will solve itself:
https://fixvx.com/lazerwalker/status/1825782926098968958
https://fixvx.com/lazerwalker/status/1825782926098968958
Aug. 29th, 2024
Togetherness Is for Celebration
Aug. 29th, 2024 11:20 pmI had some wins tonight. One silly, one actually really important to me, but I sort of accosted my disabled partner on her way to bed to tell her about them and was really hurt that she wouldn't pause to acknowledge or congratulate me.
I probably have a couple of friends I could pester this late, but that's not really what I need. My friends are always supportive, they're just not always around. My partner is supportive, she just isn't always... present (and it has nothing to do with me when she can't be). But I don't really have extended family any more and the same can be said for community, and I'm so eager to be someplace new and try again...
But I'm also aware that's a lot to put on new people. And a lot to put on myself. And still carries some assumption of stability that may not be within our control.
I've gotten really good at needing very little social support -- not in a way that minimizes myself, just more rooted, durable, and efficient. I wanted a moment to feel excited and not be thinking about how to leverage it into marketing myself.
But I guess it's time to move on and think about how to leverage it into marketing...
*****
As I was writing that last line, she came out and asked for a redo. We're okay. Living with chronic pain is like this sometimes. Learning to be judicious with how much I depend on her has made me a stronger, more sensitive person overall and I wouldn't give that up. She's there when it matters. I just miss having a larger intimate network.
I probably have a couple of friends I could pester this late, but that's not really what I need. My friends are always supportive, they're just not always around. My partner is supportive, she just isn't always... present (and it has nothing to do with me when she can't be). But I don't really have extended family any more and the same can be said for community, and I'm so eager to be someplace new and try again...
But I'm also aware that's a lot to put on new people. And a lot to put on myself. And still carries some assumption of stability that may not be within our control.
I've gotten really good at needing very little social support -- not in a way that minimizes myself, just more rooted, durable, and efficient. I wanted a moment to feel excited and not be thinking about how to leverage it into marketing myself.
But I guess it's time to move on and think about how to leverage it into marketing...
*****
As I was writing that last line, she came out and asked for a redo. We're okay. Living with chronic pain is like this sometimes. Learning to be judicious with how much I depend on her has made me a stronger, more sensitive person overall and I wouldn't give that up. She's there when it matters. I just miss having a larger intimate network.