Kind Acts of Randomness
Jul. 27th, 2025 02:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
genderjumperA trans family in my extended community are about to GTFO Austin (lucky them!) and held a sendoff party today. One of my dear ones is also very dear to them, but disabled and geographically isolated from both them and me, so I asked if I could pick her up and drive her down. She gladly accepted.
On the drive home, I recorded audio of a potential essay called, "How to Break a Resilient Heart" (or something similar) that felt a bit cathartic to get out of my head. It was a mournful how-to written from the perspective of the hurtiest relationship end I've ever experienced, which haunts me 8 years on. I also sang through a couple of albums, playing with my pitch and range.
I haven't felt this creative in a long time.
On the way down, I saw some spectacular storms in the distance and snapped as many rainbow shots as I could. There's no way my phone can do justice, especially on automatic white balance, but I hope I got some decent one-handed shots. I arrived later than I would have liked, but we got to chitchat while she finished rewatching 10 Things I Hate About You and later while she plotted her resurrected erotic fantasy novel. After she went to bed, I watched some videos and drew a portrait of one of her daughter's stuffed animals from my vantage point. I decided to leave it, not so much as a gift but an offering to the creativity gods (the kid, now 22, is a powerhouse digital artist).
This morning, we dressed up (maybe not to the nines, but perhaps some 7s for a hot Texas afternoon) and headed to Austin. The big skies treated us to a whole array of rains in the distance, like a textbook diagram or storyboard progression had been jumbled out of order and pasted on the windshield. I didn't take pictures but just soaked in the visuals. We hadn't told anyone we were coming, so we quietly took our bathroom breaks and slipped off our shoes before entering the main room. There were tears, many tears, and to be honest I've never felt closer to the departing family than being able to bring the perfect gift. None of them were sure if they'd get to see each other before the big departure, but now they got a healthy dose of cuddles and time to catch up. I didn't know anyone else at the party and mostly hung around, watching people talk casually about elaborate board games. I thought there might be an essay in the difference between working class and middle class polyamorists -- not that I could tell who amongst these were even nonmonogamous, but it was definitely >0 -- and that I might be well-positioned to attempt such an analysis from either an academic or journalistic standpoint. I wanted to volunteer to play with the kids, but getting down on the floor is hard these days and those kids didn't know me in the least. (If I'm not young at heart any more, when did that change? and if I am young at heart, what good does it if I'm not also young at knees?) Once my passenger ran out of social spoons, I said a quick goodbye, reminded the family to call on me if I could be a friend (I may have idly reached out to another trans friend who hightailed it last December and still has an empty house on the market just to hypothetically see if we could put them up for a night on their drive next month), and headed out. My passenger was overstimulated, but we had pleasant conversation on the drive back and ended up watching a whole movie before she sent me home.
This morning, we dressed up (maybe not to the nines, but perhaps some 7s for a hot Texas afternoon) and headed to Austin. The big skies treated us to a whole array of rains in the distance, like a textbook diagram or storyboard progression had been jumbled out of order and pasted on the windshield. I didn't take pictures but just soaked in the visuals. We hadn't told anyone we were coming, so we quietly took our bathroom breaks and slipped off our shoes before entering the main room. There were tears, many tears, and to be honest I've never felt closer to the departing family than being able to bring the perfect gift. None of them were sure if they'd get to see each other before the big departure, but now they got a healthy dose of cuddles and time to catch up. I didn't know anyone else at the party and mostly hung around, watching people talk casually about elaborate board games. I thought there might be an essay in the difference between working class and middle class polyamorists -- not that I could tell who amongst these were even nonmonogamous, but it was definitely >0 -- and that I might be well-positioned to attempt such an analysis from either an academic or journalistic standpoint. I wanted to volunteer to play with the kids, but getting down on the floor is hard these days and those kids didn't know me in the least. (If I'm not young at heart any more, when did that change? and if I am young at heart, what good does it if I'm not also young at knees?) Once my passenger ran out of social spoons, I said a quick goodbye, reminded the family to call on me if I could be a friend (I may have idly reached out to another trans friend who hightailed it last December and still has an empty house on the market just to hypothetically see if we could put them up for a night on their drive next month), and headed out. My passenger was overstimulated, but we had pleasant conversation on the drive back and ended up watching a whole movie before she sent me home.
On the drive home, I recorded audio of a potential essay called, "How to Break a Resilient Heart" (or something similar) that felt a bit cathartic to get out of my head. It was a mournful how-to written from the perspective of the hurtiest relationship end I've ever experienced, which haunts me 8 years on. I also sang through a couple of albums, playing with my pitch and range.
I haven't felt this creative in a long time.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-27 11:08 am (UTC)I hope your dear ones have a successful GTFOing, and may they find community wherever they land.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-27 08:49 pm (UTC)